Buffet...

Three signs of a bad Indian lunch buffet:

1. McDonalds – You woke up hung over on a Sunday afternoon and realized that there were only two things that you wanted to accomplish today…try to piece together the events from the night before…and make your way to an Indian lunch buffet so you can indulge in everything from palak paneer to gulab jambus. It takes you 45 minutes to build-up enough energy to get out of bed as you polished off 10 drinks the night before in an ill-fated attempt to ‘only go out for a few drinks’. At the restaurant you glance by the buffet line on your way to your table and notice the fine assortment of Indian food and then at the end of the line you see it….french fries. The first thing that comes to your mind is the old school Sesame Street jingle, “one of these kids is doin; his own thing, three of these kids are doin the same.”




An Indian buffet that offers anything other then Indian food should be an immediate sign that the food you are about to eat is not good. If Management has to offer their patrons french fries then obviously something is lacking from their Indian dishes. Note to self…get out!

2. Gourmet – The name of a restaurant is often a key indicator of what to expect. Now that may sound a bit foolish...but if you have the word “Gourmet” in the name of your restaurant…chances are…you’re not. If management was unable to spend more then 2 minutes to come up with a better name than "Gourmet India"…then how much time do you think is spent towards making quality food?

3. Campbells- When I spend $12 on an Indian buffet, I automatically know that 50% of my bill is dedicated to chicken tikka (palak paneer for vegetarians). The reasoning behind the allocation is that usually the chicken tikka is the main, if not only, reason why we’re at an Indian buffet in the first place. When the chicken tikka comprises of small pieces of chicken floating in what looks like tomato soup…you my friend…got bamboozled. The sauce has to have some color/texture to it. It can’t be uniform, runny and red…and in some bizarre instances…pink (yes I really have witnessed a pink chicken tikka contraption). You need to know that what your about to eat is something more complex then some chicken nuggets dashed with masala and thrown in a bowl of Campbells Tomato Soup.

Palak paneer is a lot harder to break-down…it is almost an art. You pretty much have to taste it to know if it’s good or not. And it really is as black and white as that….there’s no such thing as ‘okay’ palak paneer…it’s either good or bad.

Its a shame not every city has a Balaji Bhavan like H-town does...