Red pill...

There are some people in this world who have excelled in whatever it is they do. They come to work every morning and as they walk to their desk they are often frowned upon by their peers…all because of sheer jealousy. These people that I refer to are the upper class of each company…the higher cast in society….the office dwellers.

If you are not a part of this elite group then you are what I am….a cubicle inhabitant, and probably wake-up every morning hating yourself, thinking…”Damit...why didn’t’ I take Morpheus’ advise …swallowed the red pill… and stayed in Wonderland?”



For those who have never experienced ‘life inside a cubicle’ let me give you a rundown of what you’re missing…

A cubicle is a confining structure that resembles a prison…but ironically has no bars, locks or latches. In fact, a cubicle is comprised only of three walls. Now you’re probably thinking, “What kind of prison has only three walls?” But as bizarre as it sounds…the inhabitants of a cubicle add the fourth wall in their mind…that should give you an idea of how unhappy life is within. The moment your body is entirely within its domain, all creativity…happiness…and even life…is sucked out of you as quick as a chocolate milkshake is sucked out of a cup from a chubby little kid.

The walls range in height from 3 to 6 feet, are usually made of a brownish/yellowish foamy material, and allow all sound to pass directly through them. Within the cubicle you generally have a desk for your computer, a few drawers and if your lucky some cabinet space. This may sound a bit boring and dull but often at times people will jazz up their cubicle by adding a bit of flare to it. Some common pieces of flare that can be found are as follows: picture frames, a small plant on their desk, a candy jar, a table lamp, sometimes even a small 2’ by 2’ floor rug. The people that use flare in their cubicles are those that can not admit defeat...they will try to spice up their cube to the best of their ability…but in the end it is what it is…it will always be a cube.

Inhabitants of cubicles often starve for any attention or action during their daily 8-5 life within. Nothing portrays this feeling of loneliness as the view you get 20 feet away from a block of cubes when someone drops something that makes a loud sound. You will see a bunch of people poke their heads in a prairie dog type fashion over their cubicle walls trying to find out what made that noise that echoed within their cage.

As horrid as ‘life inside a cubicle’ sounds…it is home. It is where I spend the majority of my life….it is where I can always be found. Also there is strength in numbers...as there are many people that share this cubicle life with me. These days there are more cubicles than offices…as employers want to make the most use of their leased property. Some may think that it’s hard to find a person amongst a sea of brown foamy walls…but surprisingly it is not. We cubicle inhabitants are similar to lab mice within a maze. We know every corner and hallway to take to get from point A to point B…we are masters of our domain. However for those that are not familiar with the seating arrangement…we have numbers attached to our cubes, to make us easier to find. Management calls these ‘cubicle numbers’…we refer them to ‘inmate numbers’.